Into My Heart
by Lady Cascada
Summary: She's been broken and tortured and needs help getting back on her feet. Jaime is there, but she does not want him. Can he crack the barriers around her icy heart before she pushes me away?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so I don't know if anybody read my story about Kyle and Sunny, that I haven't updated in a while now, but if you have then you are mistaken if you think this is another one about them. No, this one is about Jamie! I love Jamie, I think that he's so sweet and I find it ironic that sullen Kyle gets a girl and sweet, caring Jamie doesn't. So, I am writing another fanfiction on top of the other two that really need my attention to try this one out.**

**I do not own the Host. Nope, the wonderful Stephanie Meyer does.**

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><p><em>Dark.<em>

_All I could see was darkness. There was another presence in my head, and the pressure of two minds crammed into mine was hard. Unbearable. _

_My first thought was to scream, to somehow release all the pressure into one loud scream but my mouth wouldn't work. And my hands refused to work; I felt something heavy strapping me to something else. I knew I was being restrained._

**_My body. Get out. _**_The thought was alien. Was not mine. The possesive way that the alien said my body made me cringe then rebulk it, feeling slightly annoyed. What was this voice at the back of my head going to do to me? What gave it a right to call my body it's when I was still right here and annoyed._

_No, mine,__ I hissed back at it and I felt it recoil. There was a hard pressure against my back, like a door closing too hard, too tight against my skin. I wanted to wiggle away but there was nothing to run away from. Nothing. it was all in my mind._

_Mind or not, I could still feel something stinging and it didn't sit too good with me. My automactic reaction was to push the thing back but I didn't know what the thing I was pushing against was. I tensed up, waiting for the next attactk. When it came, it nearly knocked me back, figuratively speaking, of course. It felt like a hurricane behind my temple, and it was sharp, a sharp pain that I couldn't fend off._

_GET AWAY FROM ME! __I wasn't sure what my thought had to do with anything but the next second, everything was quiet. Soft._

_Lonely._

_The voice had finally disappeared. Relief took over briefly before colors began to fill my vision. I heard sounds and murmurs and an angry voice._

_" Third time this happened...,"_

_"...the chemical structure is the same but..."_

_" What's wrong with this earthling?"_

_" Put it back in it's cage," I knew this last voice. I knew that it belonged to a woman that everybody called a Seeker. I knew enough to know that there would be a sharp pain behind my eyes, the lights would come on and I would be shoved back into what I called a home; an empty room with empty walls and no windows. The place where I had been for the past three years._

_The Seeker had found me; brought me here. Since I could remember, this had been happening every other day, along with painful blood tests among other things. I'd come to hate the Souls. But that was all that I could do._

_Hate._

_Because there was no way that they would let me go. Not since my body rejected every soul they'd try to put in me. I was powerless to stop them; I was powerless to do anything at the moment._

_And, it wouldn't change._

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><p><strong><em>The prologue is done!<em>**

**_What do you think? Should I continue? _**

**_Please read and review!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**I am posting the first chapter with the prologue to give some more things to read. I'm not sure how often I will upload, but it won't be weekly, I'm sure. There's just too much to do without worrying about this story. But I do like this story and I'm going to keep working on it.**

**I do not own the Host.**

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" Rebecca?" I can hear the voice but I do not respond. I know who is talking to me; that Healer who is always there when I wake up and the one who takes me back to my cell." Rebecca, wake up." His voice is soft and innocent but I can see under that farce. All of them-_all of them_- are evil. Besides, I cannot move.

Something presses against my face softly and I inhale something that smells like cinnamon and vinilla. At once, the knots vanish from my stomach, along with the urge of heave and I open my eyes. The pale blue eyes,with the silver in them, stares at me in wonder. As though it actually cares if I survive or not. I sit up carefully, staring down.

Escape is not an option anymore. All the other humans are erased or hiding. I am alone here. My lank hair hangs in waves past my shoulders, because in the several years that I have been here, not once have I had a haircut. Now, my hair hangs nearly at my waist, and it looks shaggy. But it doesn't matter to them because allowing me near a pair of scissors would mean that I have a weapon.

" How are you feeling?" The Healer asks. I have never found out his name; I do not want to know his name. But he is so sweet, with a very nice smile and greying hair around his temple that makes him seem almost fatherly. It is not to hate him, but not impossible.

" Fine," I say sarcastically. My voice is dry and it cracks but I get my point across: I am not one of the brainwashed people with a Soul inside of them and I do not believe it when they say that they do not want to hurt me. The Healer nods politely, making notes on his clipboard. I am careful to not look at the silver instruments near the edge of a table. But I feel smug when I look at a tank with a soul in it.

Too bad. It wouldn't get me as a host. No way.

" A bath then," The Healer says cheerfully," I think that you've skipped several days since your last one. And then dinner." I can feel myself flushing. My upbringing will not allow me to forget about things like personal hygiene, no matter how impractical it is considered here. It takes me hours to fully eject a soul out of my body, sometimes it takes days to rouse myself from my own personal hell. The last soul took two days to eject and then I had been in unconsciousness for about as long. It is hardly not fault I do not smell good.

I nod to his suggestion, but do not speak. He pulls the IV away from my vein and watches patiently while I stand. I am tall for a fourteen year old girl; I am equal height with him, but he does not even adknowledge my height at all. It means nothing to have brute force when there are several Seekers around this place who can kill me with the press of a button.

I squint when we go into a brightly lite hallway, with more Healers who whisper as I pass. They eye me warily though, and keep a good distance from me. It's the same thing every single time. The Healer leads me away from the hallways into a darker part of the hospital, near the place that's considered the basement. I stumble over several steps, my body still heavy from the No Pain.

Light flickers to life as we pass and there is another set of hallways with more doors. The Healer ushers me through one of them, a door with a cream colored rug in front of it and a picture of a smiling girl on the door.

" There are fresh clothes inside," The Healer says and sits himself in a chair diagonal from the door. I use to find it awkward to bathe when I knew someone was washing but not anymore. I open the door and for a second I stare at the hand that holds the handle. My nails are flawless, long, beautiful. It is due to the Health supplements they force me to take. I do not look like a prisoner; I look decent but I do not feel like it.

My own skin feels alien to me now, because it had been breeched by countless Souls and countless more to come. The Seekers remain puzzled as to why my body rejects Souls and they cannot keep a Soul in me for more than two days without something awful happening. Once, the Souls they had placed in me couldn't take it and taken his attachments out. When they cut into my neck, the silver feelers had been limp.

It had taken them several days to remove all of him from me.

I shudder at the thought then stare at myself in the mirror. I can see the changes that have occured since the last time I stood in front of a mirror, very subtle but I can still see the. My long auburn hair hangs looser, curlier, more than an inch longer than the last time. Bangs brush over my eyes, and the color is emerald, very light emerald. My skin is pale and clammy.

And then there are the other changes. Once every month, a female Healer brings me the things I need but no more than needed. And aside from a weekly cloth exchange, they leave me alone. But I desperately need a bra, not that I would ask one of them for one. But the bulge against my T-shirt's are noticable, despite my attempts to use my hair to hide it.

I turn away from the mirror, flushing, and start disrobing and hurry under the steamy shower. The water burns mildly against my skin, and I dump large amounts of shampoo on my hair and attempt to straighten it from the millions of locks it's in to no avail. After a while, I get out, shivering, and grab one of the large fluffy towels.

Once my shiver subsides, I put on the clean clothes not really paying attention to what it is because they make no distinction between my clothes: A shirt of some clor, jeans, sneakers. It's the same thing that's in the bag where they put my spare clothes. Once I've finished in the bathroom, I unhurryingly go away from the room, where the Healer is waiting.

" I hope you enjoyed your bath, Rebecca," He says, smiling. He eyes my damp hair with amusement and flicks me a hairtie. I hiss out a 'thank you' between clenching teeth and strangle my thick hair into a high ponytail.

He gestures to the familiar hallway where my room is and I go without complaint; I need my strength for the body stealer they have plannned. The hallway is dimly lit and I squint to see where I am. I know that my room is to the left at the end of the hallway, past a door that leads who knows where. But today, I notice something different. There are several people lugging trash through the halls.

I hide behind a potted fern to watch them and stare as they open the door at the edge of the hallway and disappear into a white light. Something leaps in my heart. That door leads outside, I'm sure of it. I could use it to escape and...

Go where? Dispair fills my heart, as quickly as joy did. There was nowhere to go _to _when the whole planet was taken over. But, I keep the thought near the back of my mind, in case I had any thoughts to end my life to end my living nightmare.

I reach my room and turn the handle, not needing light to tell me what is there: one lonely chair, a table, a bookcase full of non-violent books, one twin bed and a small, bright rug. Other than that, this room is barren. There are no windows, no other doors. The walls are made of thick material that's near impossible to break down.

I stretch out on my bed then tug at my knees to rest my head on. The past precedures have been more painful than usual. I have a strong feeling that they are using less No Pain and Heal. The thought makes me cringe. Before you know it, they could have me awake when they are incerting. I feel mildly annoyed at that thought. Not even they would be that cruel, I hope.

I sit up suddenly, because I can hear heels against the thin marble. I know automactically who it is and rage and hatred start to bubble up within me. I stare at the door emotionlessly and right on time, the Seeker walks in.

She doesn't look dangerous, more or less she looks very pixie-like. She's short, shorter than me than a foot and a half, with a mop of strawberry blond curls that frame her round face and makes her look even more childish. She's thin to the extreme, thinner than me, with wide brown eyes-with silver, of course. But she doesn't fool me for a second. I know how deadly she is.

" Yes, Seeker, what can I do for you?" Too long unused, my voice cracks on words and I stumble over that sentense. The Seeker raises one of her spiky eyelashes and sits down on my chair. She looks at a clipboard and makes a sound between her teeth.

" Well, Rebecca, I can see that we had another unresponsive soul insertion today." Her voice is cool and business-like, quite in contract with her looks. She clicks her tongue once before continuing," We've tried souls from every planet known to us and yet it's still unresponsive. Why is that, Rebecca, when you are not different from the others at all?"

" I'm still here for one," I say, glad that I still have my humor and sarcasm. I watch her eyes narrow with satisfation." For another, I know what animals you are and I won't make things easy for you to erase me."

" You are but a child of fourteen," She says, actually curious," You fight against us more than a thirty year old would fight. What we can't figure out is why that is. You're genetic built is the same and there's nothing special about you from the tests we've taken. Care to tell me?"

" Like hell I would tell you," I say between my teeth. Her mouth jams together in a flat line. She closes her eyes briefly as though tired.

"Tomorrow, you will not receive any No Pain," She says quietly," We think that it may be effecting how the sould insertion goes. It won't hurt a bit." She was lyiing through her teeth but the bigger part of me was slowly sinking into dispair. Once, when I was younger, I had jammed a knife into my arm on accident and it had hurt like hell. I could only imagine how much this would hurt.

" Please," My voice trembles," I don't know what I'm doing. Just...don't take me off the No Pain. It would scar me." There is no sympathy in her eyes, or hesitation.

" You should have thought about this before you decided to lie to us about what you know. The concequences are all up to you," She says emotionlessly. She smiles bitterly," I'm sure that if you fall asleep, it will have the same effect as the No Pain."

" But I'm telling you that I don't know what I'm doing!" I nearly scream." You know that. You think that after all these years, I would understand how I do it now?" My screaming has no effect on her at all.

" Humans are prone to lying," She says," Don't expect us to cave into your lies that easily. We Seekers are not as gullible as you might think of us. We are sucessful at what we do, including the one that was sent after your brother." All my willpower collasped with that word. They got him.

" I hate you," I whisper then louder I scream," I HATE YOU! Get out of here, you bitch!" She stands, but only because she wants to.

" I'll be back this time tomorrow to take you to the lab," She says slowly," Have a good night's sleep."

" Go choke and die!" I snap but the door has already slammed shut. My anger evaporates, leaving hopelessness behind. This had gone on long enough. If they take me off the No Pain, there is a chance that it will kill me. I choke a little as I think about what choices I have. Only two at this point. The first is to stay here and let them do what they want to me.

The second is to escape and die out there, alone and starving. But, at least, in that way I will have control of myself when I die. The choice is almost too easy because this is the only time that I will have to escape. Numbness spreads to my fingers as I think about that. My only chance to escape.

There was no time to waste.

With almost frenzying motions, I stuff my clothes, dirty or clean, into my bag and zip it up shut along with several paperback novels that I want to finish or start. There, all my earthy possesions. There is nothing else for me to linger for. I suck in a deep breath and begin to inch out slowly, twisting the knob quickly so it doesn't have a chance to squeak.

There is nobody in the hallway; it must be midnight. I creep along slowly, wishing that I could see where I am going. I trail one finger along the side of the wall, and nearly stumble across the potted fern. My toes hit the pot with painful force and I bite back on a scream. No, just a little bit further before I am to freedom.

Tears spring into my eyes involuntarily, as I continue to creep forward until I feel the roughness of the walls on my face. I push past the door that I saw earlier.

Alarms spring, loud and demanding, and it makes me freeze. Several pounding footsteps behind me sound, along with the mechanical sound that can only be from a gun.

" There she is!"

" Stop her!"

" Shoot her if nessasary!" I know that this one is from the Seeker, because I know that only Seekers use guns. Luckily for me, there are about four of them in this building. I lurch forward, fumbling to open the door and feel cold wind brush against my cheek as it swings open.

I stumble forward, catching myself before running. It's been a while since I've ran and before long, my legs start to burn and my lungs burn. Several bullets shoot past my head, embedding themselve deep in poles and houses. A sharp pain catches me between the back, and I gasp before catching my rhythm and running again.

I've been shot. There was nothing but a twisted desire to laugh. I can't even scream properly. Another stinging, stabbing pain cames at my arm and this time, I can feel sticky blood spray across my fingers. Nausea twists at my stomach as I turn on the raod. I can't go on.

The headlights of an unseen car comes hurdling through the streets. Struck with inspiration, I wave my arms up for help then feel a cramping pain at my ankle and collaspe. I look up at the headlight and see a pair of feet coming my way.

_Please give me a chance to escape,_I think before fading.

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><p><em>Wanda P.O.V<em>

" Why are you always complimenting her when all she does is go out and shop?" Kyle's angry voice is mocking, taunting his brother. I tighten my grip on the wheel.

_Don't be so tense, Wanda. You look like you've just murdered someone,_Melanie conplains in my head. I smile, if only a little bit and focus on the streets up ahead.

Jared stiffens behind me; I can see the tendons standing out in his grasp. He squints past the windshield.

" Tell me that soul is not collasping on the street right there," Jared says. I gasp and fumble on the breaks, my hands going clammy. I stare out too, and focus on the middle of the road where somebody seems to be waving at us. I can tell that it's a girl, with long hair down to her waist and slightly too big jeans. What draws my attention is all the blood that clings to her.

She stands for a second longer, then collapses.

_Oh my god, what the hell happened to her? _Melanie demands. I swallow the bile that has risen to my mouth, as my stomach lurches. Lunch must stay in.

" Ian? Go get her; we need to get her to the hospital before we leave. We can just put her in the parking lot; they'll see her," The words turn to mush in my mouth as Ian picks her up. He peels back one of her eyelids before shoving her in the car.

" She's not a soul," He declares, wiping down his bloody hands," She's human."

" What?" Jared gasps." That's not possible. How could se survive for so long outside the...,"

" Will you shut up and let Wanda drive before the girl bleeds to death?" Kyle's sarcastic voice feels like a lifeline. I put the car on drive, every ounce of my being on the girl behind me, fighting for her life.

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><p><strong>Well, there was my attempt at a new story. Tell me what you think, though! I can't improve if nobody tells me what I need to do.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**A long time since I've uploaded but here is the second chapter.**

**I do not own The Host **

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Something shifts underneath me. A low whisper fills the air, the hum of dozens of people talking in unison. Have they already started the operation? Nerves claw at my stomach, along with acid that makes my stomach burn. A sharp bark and then people shut up.

Where am I? What happened?

"Shut up," It's a male next to me. Could it be my Healer? Fear twists in my stomach and I start to lash out, surprised that I meet no hard metal. Something shifts next to me and hisses, "Be quiet. She's waking up." Why does he sound so excited anyway? Is it so they can experiment on me again? Something touches my arm and I recoil on contact, smacking something next to me with enough force to make me hurt myself.

Without meaning to, a small moan escapes my lips.

"She's waking up," Someone crows. It sounds like this is exciting, the filthy parasite.

"You can wake up now," A softer voice says, more masculine than the first, "You're safe-you're among humans now." My heart constricts painfully at the mention of humans. Why are they being this mean?

But I know that I must do it sooner or later so I force my eyes up wide, only to stare at a pair of brilliant blue eyes, much brighter than I've ever seen before. I search his eyes carefully, looking for a speck of silver. I see only the faint reflection of myself and my hair is a mess. I swallow, licking my lips. I try to force my lips to form words.

"Who-are you?" I whisper in a dry voice. I sound awful and wince, but the man looks calmer. His hair is black, now that I look at it better and his skin is tan with bruises covering several places on his arm, looking like scratching marks done by someone with long nails. I glance down at my hands, which are long and slender and covered in blood.

"Name's Ian," He says almost cheerfully, "You gave us all a scare when you collasped like that on the road. We've been trying to get you to wake up for a while now-hey, I never got your name."

"I'm...Rebecca," I whisper, not wanting to give out my full name yet. No matter how nice this man seems, I do not trust him. I do not trust anyone, not after those horrible years of experiments done to me. I swallow dryly and somebody passes me a cup of water, sliding it onto my palms. I am not expecting it and it slips from my fingertips, where it should shatter but someone picks it up before it can.

"You should sit up," Ian says and helps me sit, careful not to put any pressure onto my side. I dare glance down once and see nothing more than a huge lump on my side, where I am sure that there are several pieces of tape holding a rag over the wound.

I thank Ian and take small sips out of the cup, walking my own reflection bend in time with the water. It fills me with brought, knowing that I will never be anything more in life. These humans are safe, but I will never be. My own parents had turned me in, and my brother was nowhere to be seen.

I gasp and taste salty tears in my mouth, then stop drinking the water, sliding it back to Ian with shaky movements. I finally focus on the crowd behind him, mostly made up of grown men and woman who stare at me like a freak. Rather than hide from all of their glares, I match them with one of my own, feeling some strange satisfation about behind successful in doing so.

One of them, a boy with dark hair and a tall, gangly built, smiles at me, waving awkwardly with one of his hands. I stare at him, not sure what to do. My lack of experience with boys is frightening. I've never really talked to one before; only for one or two seconds to preclaim that they had cooties. And, there's something about him that I do not like.

He's almost too sweet somehow, too surreal.

When he realizes that I will not wave back, he walks toward me, nto even paying attention to the red haired woman who hisses out at him to get back. He stands in front of me, right in front of Ian, with a big smile on his face.

"I'm Jaime," He says in a deep voice. Large chunks of his black hair falls in his face, and he brushes them aside easily, "You've been out two days, you know? I saw you when they were carrying you in-I actually thought that you were going to die, but you just kept mumbling something. You hit Kyle on your way in, gave him a black eye when you mistook him for somebody else."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I mumble as a reflex. I remember nothing about coming here, nothing at all. I vaguely remember the car, and the people coming toward me. "He's not mad, I hope."

"Mad?" Here, Jaime laughs, a carefree laugh that makes me soften up slightly, "Nah, he's not mad. He sulked like a baby, though, because his brother kept teasing him about being beaten by a partially unconscious girl."

"His...brother?" I ask unwillingly. The words are still hard to get out, but it's an effort that I have to make. I can't baby out, not if I want to get rid of all of those memories. This is what I wanted, right? To be free?

Jaime glances at Ian, who bows mockingly from the waist up.

"You?" I croak, imagining two of them in the same room together. My brain pounds sickeningly.

"The one and only. But I'm nowhere as sullen as he is, believe me," He says. Then, he sighs and glances behind him at the crowd. His mouth falls slack as though he is thinking of a way to get them all to go away.

"Come on, people," A man barks, causing everything to jump, "My plants aren't gonna water themselves. If you got time to laze around, then everything's done, isn't it? Get going, you lazy gossipmongers...," The rest of his complaint comes out in a mumble, as everyone starts to get out. Jaime leaves unwillingly, smiling at me enthusiastically.

The only people left are a man in a white lab coat, the man with the gun who'd made mad everyone leave, Ian, and a sullen man with a hard face. They stare at me like I was a foreign creature.

"No Kyle, then?" The sullen man asks, and his voice as smooth as gravel. His eyes meet mine with something close to curiousity. I do not like him at all. There's something that repells me away from him.

"No, he doesn't want to meet her with a broken nose and a black eye," Ian chuckles then his laughter dies down as he realizes that I am stil there, "Uh, Jeb?" I don't know what's funny, and I don't know why they are looking at me like I am the alien.

"Listen, sweetie, do you mind answering a few questions?" Jeb asks. He is the one holding the gun but his expression is kind. It has been so long since I've seen kindness. I sniffle, wanting to cry but hold back and nod instead. I can't afford to be weak right now.

"Can she even speak?" The sullen faced man asks, staring at me with something close to hatred. I do not know why he hates me so much but I stare back at him unflinchingly. "What's the point of saving her if she doesn't even communicate with us? For all we know, she could be some weird experiment gone wrong because they broke her."

I flinch away from his words and the venom they contain. It hits below the belt because he is more correct than he could eve image. I was an experiment gone wrong because they couldn't force me to act the same way as other humans did and that made me a null body they couldn't use. Fresh tears break out and I struggle to hold them back. There's something wrong with me; I don't like being emotional. Especially in front of this man who acts like I am not even there.

And what I feel for him is deeper than distrust. It's hatred, which is odd because I have only known him for a few seconds. It's good to be able to hate again because unlike the souls, this man is something that I can hate without feeling conflicted because he is not caring the future of my life in his hands.

"Dammit, Jared, can't you leave her alone?" Ian snaps, and it is surprising how much hostility is hidden behind his eyes. Something dark passes in front of his face, "Doc already told you that she's most likely drugged and that she would be lucky to wake up before tomorrow. It's a miracle that she didn't die on the way here and now you're expecting her to function properly when she just escaped death by an inch?"

"I'm expecting her to be able to focus properly and listen," Jared retorted, "And we don't know for sure that she's okay mentally. If she's as human as she claims she is, there's no telling just how broken up she is." Broken up? What is this strange man talking about? I am not broken up mentally, but my tongue feels heavy.

"Broken up?" Ian echoes my thoughts and he looks like he is about to hit him before he chuckles softly, "Ah, I get what this is about now. You're jealous, aren't you?"

"Jealous of what, being kidnapped by happy-go-lucky souls?" Jared asks sarcastically and I feel angry again. He makes it seem like they are harmless and that I was too weak to escape from them. He's more wrong than he could imagine. Besides Seekers, there were also Guardians, who were sort of like policemen or bodyguards.

"No, that she could fight off those parasites and keep her brain while living in their world and that Melanie couldn't," Ian says and I watch Jared's face turn an interesting shade of purple, "I'm right, aren't I? You don't like her because she could do something your parents couldn't do, or your girlfriend, or...,"

"Shut up!" Jared roars and his hand slams down hard on my cot. It shifts sideways, spilling me on the ground on my knee. Hot pain flashes across my mind and a numbing pain shots up my thigh before transforming into a raging fire. I curl up on the ground, hugging my knees to myself and feeling tears spill across my face.

"Nice going," Ian mutters and I hear the sound of a punch and then Ian asks thickly, "Is that all you got?"

"If you boys would stop fighting, that would be appreciated," Jeb says but I hear the click of a gun and know that he's threatening them. It's quiet except for my rough breathing. A pair of feet bend and a man touches my chin, forcing me to look up. The man has a young look to him and a kind sparkle in his eyes.

"Are you all right, Rebecca?" He asks kindly and I nod. He chuckles under his breath. "It's no use lying when I can see you are hurt but I appreciate your attempts to lie. Get up, I'll have to take a look."

I allow him to help me to my feet, where he shoves a chair under me. I sit down, and scoot away from Jared, who seems to be having a hard time not shoving me. I shot him a venomous glare as the man who helped me up rummages around for a medical bag.

"Here," He comes back and takes my leg. He adds, "You may call me Doc."

"Don't you have a real name?" I ask in a croaking whisper. It seems dumb to ask and I can tell by the look on Jared's face that he agrees with me. He leans against the counter, seperated from me by Ian and Jeb.

"I do but nobody ever uses it," Doc says, "They insist on calling me Doc, so it just stuck. There, all done...I think." My leg is wrapped in white gauze, bound so tightly I can barely move it. For a second, it reminds me of just a few days ago and my breathing speeds up with my anxiety.

"Rebecca? Rebecca?" My head snaps up when I hear Ian calling my name. "Are you ready to answer some questions now?" He asks me. I hesitate and nod again, which seems to make Jared even more mad.

"Okay, let's get started; dinner is in thirty minutes," Jeb says.

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><p><em>AN_

_Ahhhhh! I know, this was a bad way to end the chapter but I didn't want to write it all in one chapter. I am soo glad to see that some people are actually reading this, so big thanks to all of you._

_Remember to read and review!_


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own the Host in any way

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"How old are you, sweetie?" Jeb asks. I blink and try to focus on him but my attention is always skipping away, taking in every detail of this strange place. More than that, the people around me are more interesting than the place. I especially watch Doc, who is chewing on the nib of a pen, staring down at a piece of paper on top of a thick book with the covers half torn off. I have a strange feeling that he is writing down what I say.

"Rebecca, are you going to answer the question?" Jeb snaps his fingers under my face and I stare at him in confusion. It takes me a while to figure out what he just said then I shift uncomfortably, reluctant to give away any information. No matter how nice people here are, telling them anything about me just feels lik I trust them with the information. And I don't trust anyone here at all. Not to the extent that I would tell them anything about me.

It dawns on me that I could be paranoid but with good reason. The last time I told anybody anything, I'd ended up prisoner for three years. I weigh the pros and cons and finally decide that I will answer his questions, as long as they are not too personal. Deep down, I hope that I have not made the worse decision I've ever made.

"I just turned fourteen," I say, shifting once again. My anxiety makes me unable to sit still and the rough scraping sound of the wooden chair calms me down slightly. But it seems to annoy Jared, who stares at me with unfathomable eyes. "My birthday passed a few months ago." I add.

"Uh-huh," Jeb scratches at his head with his one free hand, "And when is your birthday?" I sigh heavily, and tightly curl a lock of hair around my fingers.

" September 13th," I mutter and a smile twists around my lips, "It was on a friday, you know. That means bad luck, if you believe in that type of thing. Not that things could get much worse than it already was." I don't elaborate, like they were hoping. Jeb's lips tighten slightly at the withdrawl of the information.

"And do you believe in 'that type of thing'? Like, good luck and bad luck and karma?" Ian asks, curious. I shift again, not liking the bulkness of my leg and how trapped I feel.

"No," I say shortly then add, "Because if luck and karma really did exist, then what did I do that was so bad that caused me to spend three years of my life with the parasites?" They are quiet for a while, hoping that I'll tell them what I meant but I don't. Instead I turn to Ian, "Could you hand me the water, please?"

He hands it to me wordlessly and I take it without thanks. My hands are still trembling but I manage to drink about half of it without spilling too much of it on myself.

"Are you going to elaborate on that?" Jeb asks, his voice gruff. Doc glances up from his paper and even Jared pauses from scratching something on the counter to give me a glare as though he can force me to say yes.

"No, I'm not," I say. The silence that follows is loud and uncommon. I can almost hear what they are thinking about me and how rude I am being by not telling them what they want to know after they have just rescued me and how strange it is that I am not taken over. "I would say that I have the rights of not tell you what you want to know."

"And I would say that you are on no grounds to withhold information if you didn't have anything to hide," Jared drawls. Ian starts to say something but Jared stops him with a sharp glare, "I''d say that it's incredible how thick you can be by thinking you're in control of this situation right now."

"Now, Jared-," Jeb says.

"Don't, Jeb, just don't," Jared says, "Let me draw it to scale for you, since you don't seem to get it. You're a teenager in a room with four grown ups. We saved you from getting killed and brought you to safety and you're not doing anything to help us save ourselves for when the parasites come after us. After what we've done for you, the least you could do is tell us what we want to know. Unless you have something to hide, of course." I don't like what he's impying.

"I'm not hiding anything," I snap, hoping that I don't sound as breathless as I feel. What he said makes it feel like a slap on my face because of how harsh he is.

"Then tell us what we want to know," Jared says, "It's not like we want every single detail out of your life but when it's crucial information, we need to know that. After all, if you won't tell us anything, it would've been better to leave you for the Seekers." I flinch at how harsh his words are.

"Jared, there's no need to say that," Ian says but Jared ignores him.

"We risked a lot of save you," Jared continues, "We were nearly shot at and now, the Seekers know that there are rogue humans running around somewhere. We could've left you there to save our own asses but we stayed to save you."

"I never asked you to!" I snap, my anger rivaling his. Jeb starts to say something but he thinks better of it and just touches his hands to his hat and mutters something that sounds like, "Oh, lord."

"No? You collapsed in front of the road and reached out before you fell. If you had prefered that we left you there to die, just tell me. We've got a functional gun right here." I don't try to rebulk him anymore because what he says is true. But he doesn't understand why I can't tell him anything because it doesn't matter.

No matter what I tell them, it wouldn't help. Even if I trust them with the truth, it wouldn't help. And I don't trust them, especially not this man glaring at me like he would have no problem taking the gun out of Jeb's hands and shooting me with it. Tears prickle at my eyes and fall down my cheeks.

"You're right," I say, my voice cracking at all the wrong parts. It makes me sound weak. "You're right; I would've prefered you left me for dead instead of trapped here with a goddamned monster like you. I would've prefered being experimented on every single day and living under lock and key instead of owing my life to you."

I lurch to my feet, startling Jeb and push past him to the door. The darkness of the hallway nearly blinds me. Blindly, I reach out to the walls which feel smooth under my fingers except for the sharp ridges that prick at my fingers.

"Damn it, Jared! I told you not to say that," Ian explodes behind me, "She's just a kid-,"

"Just because she's a kid doesn't mean that she isn't capable of lying to your face and about to stab you in the back," Jared roars so loudly, I wonder if people on the outside can hear him, "You can't afford to trust a single word that she says. She's just using you anyway. She's just a spy, sent from the Seekers."

I stare down at my fingernails, not really seeing them in the dark but my eyes fix on them without seeing. Is that what they think? That I've been sent to see if there were humans alive out there? That the only reason I wasn't taken over was because it suited the Seeker? They thought I was a spy?

"_She's just a kid_!" Ian exclaims, "I don't care how screwed up your theory is and I don't care what you do afterwards, but I don't want you to yell at her like that. Do you really think that she could work with someone who just tried to kill her?"

"I think that she's acting," Jared says, calmer now, "You know what I think. I think that she's been sent to spy on us, and that when she's going to use whatever sympathy she can stir up to aid in her plans. I think-,"

"Yeah, I know what you think," Ian interupts, "You think that she's lying to us about being human because apparently, it's too weird for her to be human and survive out there without any protection. It's suspicious that she escaped without being tied to a soul because she's just a kid and not a strong warrior like you are."

"Don't try your sarcasm on me," Jared snaps, "There was only one reason I wanted to save her and it wasn't because she's a human. It's because-,"

"It's because you wanted information and for the fact that Wanda would think you were a barbarian for not wanting to save her," Ian sighs and his voice turns sullen, "I just don't like the idea of you saying those things to her. It makes me feel like I'm the one who's about to kill her when I see her cry; I can't bare girls crying."

"How do you think I feel," Doc asks softly.

"It's nessasary," Jared snaps, "Don't let her get your sympathies so soon."

"I know that. I just don't like the fact that we saved her from being run over by a car just so we could kill her when it suited us. That, Jared, makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm not much of a killer."

"Don't be so dramatic," Jared grumbles, "Your fake sympathies make me sick. Just don't let her go anywhere alone; we don't want her figuring out what city we're in." Sounds of footsteps approach the door. I stumble to my feet and nearly fall. I catch myself on the opposit wall, slamming my face. I freeze, hoping they didn't hear.

When I hear footsteps coming toward me, I hurry down the hallway, wondering where I would be going. My feet are unsteady with the information that I've just heard. It hurts me to think that Ian would be a part of it; but I should've been expecting it. What had I expected anyway? Did I expect joy, or sympathy or someone saving me just to save me?

No. Now that I was away from my cell, I start to remember the bloodthirsty nature of us humans. Nothing we do is ever just because we want to. Things have motives, and those motives have motives.

One thing is for sure; now that I know what they are talking about, I won't make things easy for them. I'll go down fighting and screaming. The first thing I think about doing is finding the exit, so I can go back to civilization. But, do I really want that? I've worked for so long to be among humans, but I feel as much of a prisoner here as I did there.

I am not leaving here. This is the only place where the Souls can't touch me. I can take the consequences of living here, including the plan to take my life. Until I can't bear staying here anymore, this will be my home, like it or not.

Nothing will stop me.

A noise behind me sounds, hard footsteps that I seem to have missed since I wasn't listening to whoever was behind me. I panick and glance behind me, where I can see the faint flow of a torch.

"Rebecca, are you here?" Ian calls out. "Rebecca, you don't want to be lost around here. If you can here me, stay where you are." Stay where I am, is he serious? When he doesn't trust me, when he thinks less of me than of the Seekers? When he thinks that I made a deal with them to spy on him?

But I stop anyway. I don't need to run away from him because he doesn't think that I know. For a while, I can put a bandadge on this entire thing and make it seem like I didn't know what they were talking about. But I would keep my guard up from now on.

"I'm over here," I call out and pause long enough for him to catch up to me. His long legs allow him to be by my side in less than a minute and his face is dark, shadowed by the flickering lantern.

"Are you okay? You're going to the wrong way if you wanted to get something do eat, you know," Ian offers quietly but I shake my head, suddenly feeling a sense of dread. I can't face humans so quickly, not after everything that has happen today.

"No, actually, I'm not hungry. I just want to get some sleep, if I may," I say quietly and I see a slight frown puckering the sides of his lips. I add quickly, "It's been a long day, actually. I'm really tired."

"You don't need to tell me twice. I don't like the shadows under your eyes," He says, "They look like you haven't had a good sleep for weeks." He hesitates, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No," I say blandly. My sleepless nights are coming back to me now, how much the No Pain keeps me awake, how much Awake they gave me so they could mentally wear me down. To them, I was little more than an experiment.

"I thought not," He sighs and the light dangles. I can see something dark drip down his nose and realize that it is blood; Jared must've hit him harder than I thought. It gives me a strange feeling to satisfation that he got what was coming to him. Perhaps I was being too petty. After all, did it matter if he trusted me. "Follow me; I'll show you to your room."

He leads me down the hallway, and I stay on his footsteps, careful to put distance between us. I hold my shoulders stiffly, ready to flee if he asks me a personal question. Perhaps Ian notices because he doesn't say anything but rather, he whistles a tone and leads me down cheerfully. We pass several people which he greets by name.

One of them, a girl named Heidi, gives me a curious smile. I don't return it but give her a look of fasination. She reminds of someone I use to look up to, someone who was sweet but also someone who could take care of herself.

When we pass her, I can see several mismatched doors. One of them is little less than a curtain and another looks like a crude cut out of a door made from some type of bark.

"These are the bedrooms," He tells me, "We had to make yours in a rush, so it's not as close to the others...I'm sorry about that but it was all we had time to do. Fortunately, you don't have to share with anyone and there's an actual door. Here is it." He leads me to a door seperate from the others by another hallway and a particularly tiny opening in the wall.

"YOu expect me to fit in there?" I ask, staring at it.

"Ah," Ian looks embarrassed, "Like I said, it was all we had time to do. You can wriggle through those and...the actual bedroom is bigger than the opening, of course. I can't fit through it and neither can a lot of the men but we had Jaime go in there to see if there was enough space for you and there was. If you want something else though, I'm sure we can-,"

"No, it's fine," I interupt him. I start to feel lightheaded, and remember that I have not slept well in a month. My headache comes roaring back, a constant pain because of how many attempts have been made to insert aliens in my brain. It's a reminder just how different I am. And without the numbing affects of No Pain, it comes at full force. Black spots dance in front of my eyes and I stumble briefly.

Briefly, I consider asking Ian if they have any Morphine but think better of it. If I ask, I would have to tell him why and I can't do that. I guess I will have to suffer through this.

"It's good; really, it's fine," I said and edge towards it. I try to blink the spots away and nearly impale my hand on one of the sharp rocks tht litter the front of the opening. "I'm really tired so...good night." I wriggle through the foot wide opening and experience a feeling of suffication and darkness before I make it to the other side.

"Yeah, night Rebecca," Ian leaves, and the glow of the lantern leaves with him. Sighing, I crawl to what will now be my bedroom. The space is circular, but it's surprisingly large. A small flame dances on top of an old wooden table and an old sleeping bag is shoved against one of the corners. Besides those two things, I can see my bookback on a singular chair. Leaning against the other side of the rough wall is a small mirror, dusty with cobwebs and dust.

Sighing, I lower myself onto my bed and stare moorsely at the flickering light that casts intriguing patterns against the high ceiling and the walls. My headache rages out of control and I groan, lying down in hopes of making it go away. Swallowing, I crawl over to my backpack and rummage through the contents with a shaking hand.

I withdraw a single bottle of No Pain, shaking it to see how much of it is left. I open it and see that only half the container is left, which will only last me a month or two. I take out one clear sheet and place it on my tongue, swallowing without any water.

The effect is immediate and I see clearly again as my head stops spinning. I stretch out on my bed, reminding myself that I need to fall asleep before the No Pain loses its effect.

I blow out the candle and stare at absolute darkness before closing my eyes, drifting off to a restless sleep.

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><p><strong>A?N: Not very exciting, I admit. And I bet you're wondering where Wanda is. She'll show up in a chapter or two. Remember to read and review, everybody!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

Next chapter! This will probably the last update for a while because I'm running out of ideas. It's always so hard for me to write beginnings because I never really know what I want. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Remember, I don't own The Host.

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"Hey, wake up," Something jabs me at the side but everything aches and I can't tell where I was hit. I roll over and moan, being careful not to overstretch. My headache has lessened somewhat but it's still a bitch.

"Go away," I groan. Hazy pieces of last night come back to me, but not enough to make me open my eyes. I snuggle deeper towards my blankets, wanting nothing more than to sleep until I feel awake.

"Wake up, you'll miss breakfast," The voice says again, and this time it's followed by someone rolling me over. With a weary sigh, I open my eyes and stare up at Jaime's wide eyes, already filled with excitement. "Okay, you're awake now. I'll wait outside while you chance and then I'm supposed to take you to breakfast. Then, to school."

"'Kay," I sigh and sit up, resigned to the fact that I will not get any sleep today. I start to stir and stand but my headache slams back and I collaspe, staring at my ceiling like it's the most interesting thing in the world. "Actually, I feel like staring at my ceiling all day. Why don't you go without me and I'll catch up later."

"You can't skip school," Jaime complains, "Because then Sharon will get _really _testy and then you'll hear it from her the next day. She doesn't like people skipping school. She tends to hit people if they skip school."

"As fun as that sounds, I'd rather stay here and count the cracks on the ceiling," I retort, "Besides, I never said that I wanted to go to school." Even as I speak, my headache begins to fade away, reducing down to just a slight pain at the side of my temple. But I know that an angry woman yelling at me will do nothing to help it.

"Aw, but then uncle Jeb will be mad at me," Jaime says, "Come on, Rebecca. It won't be too bad and since it's your first day, I'm sure she'll go easy on you. Besides, we have bacon and eggs for breakfast today, a rare treat." My stomach grumbles loudly at the thought of food.

"Okay, I'm up," I sit up slowly, but my headache does't resurface, "Just get out and allow me some time to chance." He ducks out of my room and he's reduced to crawling on some parts because of how tall he is.

Groaning, I stare at my face in the mirror when I notice the water placed next to it. I use it to gurgle with, and wash my face as best as I can before daring to look in the mirror. My hair is tangled, bushy around my face. I dig my small brush out of my bag and yank it through my hair, yanking out several pieces of hair in the process. When it tooks half way decent, I tie it up into a high ponytail and change just my shirt because my jeans aren't blood splattered.

The color shirt was dark red, a color way too familiar to me, but I had only limited choices. I duck down and follow Jaime down the unfamiliar hallway. While we walk, I try to keep track of all of the turns that we take and I am surprised by how short of a distance it is from my room. It's not a big room, I notice and there are some two dozen people there, eating breakfast and talking.

When I walk into the room, several people turn to stare at me before turning back to talk in hush whispers. One day here and the whispers have already started.

Jaime tugs at my hand, pulling me forward to a line I hadn't noticed until now. He fills his entire plate with bacon and eggs.

"Get how much you want," He says, grinning, "Lucina will be glad to give you as much as she can; if they stay for too long, it gives people stomach aches." The woman, Lucina, gives me an accessing look. I return it mildly, too tired to do anything more elaborate.

"You're too skinny," She says in a surprisingly deep voice. Her hair is slicked back into a tight bun but her face has only the slightest of wrinkles. "You need to eat more if you expect to last around here." She ducks down and gives me an entire plate full of bacon and eggs. "There, a plate fit for Kyle. I expect you to finish that; no use throwing away good food."

I grab the plate with my hands, touched by how kind she is. Then, I remember how nice Ian had been and what he said about me and quell it almost instantly. I can't have any attachments to these people. Even if I do, once they figure out my secret, they will not want to know me at all.

"Thank you," I mutter and scan the entire place for an empty table. There is only one in an isolated area of the room and I hurry towards it, careful not to spill my overflowing plate. I slouch down and pick at my food, not nearly as hunger as I had been just a few minutes ago. The bacon goes down heavily and the grease sticks to the sides of my mouth.

I can see just how alone I am right now, how distant I am from all the others. I't s just the way things have to be. Yesterday, I had been thrilled by my discover but now that I was here, I could tell that this was going to be the same thing as back there. I couldn't trust anybody here with my secret. More than that, I had to work harder to hide my secret here because people were going to talk to me and want to get to know me, try to befriend me and I might let it slip.

I couldn't afford for that to happen because then they would throw me out to the Seekers for sure. I frown down at my food, wondering when I had started to form such serious thoughts. The whispers behind me do nothing to help with my mood. But they do make it easier for me to keep my distant, easier for me to remember that everybody has a seperate agenda.

A voice behind me made the back of my neck tingle. I could very clearly hear Jared's deep voice talking to Jaime, and then I could hear the footsteps behind me. No, not just one but two. I stiffen then relax, remembering how many people are here.

"Can I sit here?" Jared says from behind me. He sounds nice enough but I know that it's just acting, and he's quite an actor. The other person next to him shifts uncomfortably and mutters something about this being unnessasary.

"Do whatever you like," I dead pan, "You usually do, don't you?" I can almost feel Jared's frown as he sits down. The man next to him sits and I am struck by how much he resembles Ian, with the same straight eyebrows and the dark hair and the blue eyes that seem to compell people to listen to him. But his expression was much mor fierce and his emotions seem to play out in his eyes, which makes him much more trustworthy than ian was.

"You're the brat that Wanda saved?" Kyle asks, snorting. "You don't look like you could survive without water for two days, much less out there with Seekers after you day and night."

"And you don't look like you're strong at all," I snap back. A tiny part of my brain registers how childish I sound but I squish the thought. "After all, you did receive a black eye, didn't you? Like I said, not very strong...and probably not very bright either because you aren't smart enough to figure me out, which is why you're here, isn't it?"

"Cheeky," Kyle stresses out the word and snaps up a piece of bacon whole, "You're gonna be more fun than I thought." I ignore him and focus on Jared, who seems to be forcing himself to stay calm.

"I know that you want to say something," I say without preamble, "So I suggest that you say it and quit wasting my time. I really aren't in the mood to deal with you right now."

"You know, for a kid you have a lot of backbone," Jared mumbles then clenches his jaw, "Fine, I came to say that I'm sorry for what I said yesterday and that you have my reassurances that nothing like that will never happen again." I stare at him in open puzzlement. I know, of course, that Jeb or this mysterious Wanda person must've put him up to this, but it's still amazing that he would do it.

"You really think that you can make things right by that apology?" I ask then I say, "It doesn't matter of course. I don't trust you and it's obvious that you don't trust me so, just leave me alone and we can pretend like things are all right between us." He stares at me with a hard expression on his face and nods tightly.

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School is as boring as Jaime had predicted. There are only six or so kids around these caves and most of them are boys. There are two other girls, one six and one ten.

Jaime hangs around with the boys, who sit on the hard ground sharing two worn textbooks. The teacher is red haired Sharon, who gives me a thin lipped smile when I walk through the door. The girls obviously don't trust me and they huddle together when I get too close.

I read the textbook by myself and fill out the questions that she asks us by myself. Apparently, she teaches all of us the same things even though we are all different ages. None of us are over sixteen, though because all of them are out in the fields like I want to be.

The subjects that she teaches us bore me, especially math with its pointless numbers. I suck at that so bad, even the six year girl girl with large eyes beats me. But I excel at english and Sharon allows exceptions for my poor algebra skills. She seems to neither like nor dislike me, treating me with the sme cool indifference she gives everyone else.

I like her for that. But I hate the fact that I am expected to read the heavy textbook that makes me legs numb by the end of the year. It's pointless and annoying and the tiny words make my eyes sting. The poor lighting and constant dirt doesn't make things better.

Half way through the class, Sharon announces that we can close up. The boys begin to eagerly stand up.

"For those of you who don't know," Sharon says, addressing me only, "We go to the field for an hour to allow you to roam free. We usually do this twice a week so you dont' fall asleep in class. Today, we'll play soccer. There are six of you of you so that means three people to a group. Jaime and Isaiah, pick your teams."

Isaiah seems to be around twelve with a thick mop of brown hair and an upturned nose that makes him look conceded. His eyes are dark but wild with excitement. The nose reminds me of Lucina and I wonder if they are related.

"I want Travis," Isaiah says. Travis is a big maybe fifteen year old with light hair and a tan face with high cheekbones, pouty lips and deep set eyes. His body is muscular, suited for running and kicking. He walks with swagger, as though he knows he's all that and high fives Isaiah, who has to jump to reach his height.

"I want Rebecca, then," Jaime says, which surprises me. He grins at me, which dispells my thought that he only picked me because it was between me and the other two girls. I walk over to him and he grins, squeezing my soulders with my warm hands. It shocks me how natural he can act, but I force myself to remain aloof.

"Ruth Ann, then," Isaiah says and the ten year old walks away timidly, her long braids hanging over her thin soldiers.

"Okay, come on, we get Penny," Jaime says, good natured. The six year old walks over, her round face pleasant and she holds onto Jaime's long fingers like she trusts him. I turn away from the display of affection as my throat clogs up. It feels weird watching them, like I'm intruding on something personal.

"Follow me and if you get hit by the ball, don't come crying to me." Sharon says and leads us away. As we leave, conversatioin breaks out from the rest of the kids. I swallow, feeling the familiar ache of loneliness. I doesn't matter, it doesn't matter...

If I say it enough times, it will come true. I follow the others through a series of corridors both dark and lighted to a large field. A ball is already placed there. Several grown men pause on their way to the fields.

"Sharon, you know we were gonna play today!" One of them calls out. With a sudden realization, I can spot out Ian's telltale signs, including those eyes. Sharon shakes her head.

"I called it first so you're going to have to wait your turn," She says. Ian shuckles and sits down along with several others. The kids go on opposite sides of the field, and once I'm in position, I stay still. I can hear Jaime asking Penny to stand still as goalie and promises that they won't have a chance to make it there.

Jaime kicks off and the ball flies half way across the field, only to be caught by Travis who kicks it back to the field. It shots past Jaime, straight to me. Reacting without thinking, I kick it back down the field, just enough to reach Jaime. The look on Travis's face would be funny if I could look at him properly.

I'd forgotten how good it felt to run, to kick, to do something like this without fear of somone coming behind you to tell you that it was too dangerous. The ball ends up in my possession again and it slams against my knee. I brace myself and kick out, near their goal where Jaime waits to kick it in.

I don't hear his whoop of triumph though because things start to get fuzzy again. My head starts hammering and all I can think is_ oh, no, not now..._

The pain is overwhelming, a biting feeling that starts from the back of my skull all the way to my temple, where it builds up until it feels like a nucleur meltdown in my head. Black spots dance in front of my eyes, so painful that it's all I can not to scream out.

Sounds distort before they can reach my ears and I can vaguely hear someone calling my name...no, they are screaming it...

I turn around and feel something slam into the back of my head. I remember falling down, staring at the ground. I can hear someone screaming but it can't be me, can it?

Something sticky drops down my side, coating my hands. The pain does not stop, it intensifies. And then, it all goes black...

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><p><strong>A?N: I can't tell if it's interesting or not. I thought it was but it's fo frusterating because I can't think of anything else to put down. Grrrr...stupid writer's block. Hopefully, it wasn't too much of a disappointment.<strong>

**Let me know what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6

New chapter up! I do not own the Host. Come on, guys. I know more people are reading this, but nobody's reviewing at all. Throw me a bone if you expect me to keep writing. Okay, on with the next chapter.

I do not own The Host. It belongs to the talented Stephanie Meyer.

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As I stumble in to eat breakfast, people stop eating and give me weird stars. Conversation stops as they eye me, and hushed conversations take place behind cupped hands. I try not to show how much it bothers me when I sit down with my breakfast, but the sight of the stale bagel has my stomach rolling and I push it away from me, queasy.

Since my collapse last week. and my refusal to acknowledge just what had caused it, people have grown even more wary of me. The other kids don't look at me, now, as they eat in their own tables. When I look up, Isaiah averts his gaze, embarrassed to have been caught spying on me. Nobody speaks to me when I go to school now; nobody offers to share their textbook or talk to me in the halls. The only time people talk to me is when they are picking soccer teams. I still get called first, even though they are careful not to pass the ball to me as much. It frustrates me, that people would be so suspicious of me, that they think I need to be isolated for something that I cannot control.

In the evenings, I have taken to working on the crops with the grown ups. I work with Ian mostly, because he alone seems comfortable in my presence. He stops asking me about what cause my collapse when it became apparent that I was not willing to speak a word about it, and he gets me water when it's time for break. But he has his own friends, and I do not see him all day.

I am alone, as usual.

The feeling of loneliness is not unusual, but it still stabs at me deep within my heart. To have my own species reject me hurts like hell, not that I would ever let them know just how much it hurts.

I finish my juice and stand up, turning to walk to my classroom alone. It's twenty minutes before class starts but I take small comfort in the fact that in those twenty minutes, I will have the solitude I crave.

On my way through the rough cave halls, I run into something hard. I grunt as I fall, rubbing my side when it crashed into the rocks.

"Sorry, Becca," Ian grins down at me, offering one of his huge hands for me to take. I hoist myself up and nod, my mouth dry and unable to form a single thought. The past week had been nonvocal and words have disappeared from my throat.

"So," Ian starts and then flushes, apparently uncomfortable. I raise my eyebrows at him, urging him to continue. The flickering light behind my back starts to burn at my skin, though I try to ignore it, "After what you went through with the Seekers, what's your opinion of Souls?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?" I snap, and my voice cracks from not being used for a week. I clear it and try again, "That's not a hard answer to figure out."

"Not about Seekers exactly," he says, embarrassed, "But about…souls in general. Like, the good ones." I stare at him for a second then laugh unkindly. It's not very kind, but his question was so atrocious that it was the only response that I could think of.

"There are no good souls," I say flatly, when it becomes apparent that he really meant the question, "They're all parasites and deserve to die."

"What if there was one who _was_ good?" Ian asks, with arched eyebrows, "What if one made its way to the caves and lived with us? What if it fell in love with a human and helped us?"

"I think you're too optimistic," I say honestly, "That will never happen, unless the soul has something in it for it."

"What are you talking about?" Ian asks, baffled, "I thought souls were defenseless and hated violence."

"It's…," I shook my head, "It's complicated, okay? And class starts in a few minutes."

"I think you can afford to miss it today," Ian says flatly, staring at me with hard eyes. I stare at him, confused. Had I said something wrong? Ian shakes his head and laughs, though it comes out forced, "Do you really have a particular desire to go to class today?"

I don't think about it twice.

"No, I don't," I say, "But I have nothing else to do and Kyle gets on me if I don't go to classes."

"I'll handle Kyle," Ian says, grabbing my arm and steering me away. I jerk back, rubbing my forearm, where red bruises have started to form. Ian's never so harsh, I muse. Was there something wrong with him?

"I'm sorry for that," Ian says, sighing and rubbing his eyes like he's had a long day already, "But could you please come with me and elaborate about your last response. It kinda…threw me for a loop."

I stare at him a second longer, torn between talking to somebody about my opinions or going to a class where everybody ignored me, and acted like I was a plague. I frown, chewing my lips.

"Okay," I say and follow him down the hallway to another hallway, almost identical to the one that we'd just been in.

Neither one of us says anything for a while. I glance at the tense lines on his back and know that he's not just having this conversation for fun. He was after something. I just couldn't figure out what.

"Okay, here," Ian spins around quickly, speaking for the first time in twenty minutes, "Sit down and tell me about your last response."

I glance at the small room, the blankets thrown carelessly around, the clothes hanging off the beds and sit down in an unoccupied chair.

"To be honest, I think that souls rarely do something if they don't get something out of it," I say, shrugging, "When they came to earth, it wasn't just so help us with our civilization. No, they wanted our land and our bodies and our resources. I mean, you've seen a soul without a body right? They can't survive for very long without a host, so that's what they get from taking over earth."

"That has nothing to do with what I had asked you," Ian injects, trying to keep his tone light though I notice cracks in his façade. "Try to fit it in the scenario that I gave you, 'Becca."

"Fine," I roll my eyes and cross my legs, "If there was a soul living here…and that's a really big 'if', then it would only be here for protection. I don't really think it could happen, though."

"Just pretend like it has," Ian suggests, leaning forward and cupping his large hands together.

"I think she's using the guy she likes for protection, then," I reply, glancing at a spot behind his head, "I mean, a soul wouldn't fit in with a cave full of humans, so there would be animosity, right? And since souls are known for being cowards, it probably knew that it wouldn't survive here on its own so it twisted around some human's mind into believing that she was in love with him to have protection."

"I didn't think souls worked like that," Ian says, surprise evident in his tone, "Here, I thought that they were pacifists ." I shake my head slowly, glancing down and drawing circles on the ground.

"Nobody's spent as much time with souls than me," I say quietly, "Even when all the procedures fail, I could still feel their emotions, their thoughts. There's a survival mechanism built in all of them. They would save a baby if they sound one, but they would kill it if it was between them and the baby."

"Is that fact or is it your own opinion after being experimented on?" Ian asks. It's a perfectly good question to ask, I suppose, but my response to it was anything but calm.

"Does it matter if it's my opinion? You of all people should believe that souls are nothing but trouble because they're deleting people so that they can survive," I snap, my voice dangerously close to shaking.

"I didn't say anything!" Ian protests, throwing his hands up. But my anger, once it rears its ugly head, is hard to contain.

"They don't care how many people they destroy, how many families they tear apart, as long as their ending is perfect," I choke out, "They don't care about the effects they have on people." I stop myself before I can give anything away.

"Okay, then," Ian says, surprising good natured. He pauses for a second, collecting his thoughts. I take advantage of his silence to puzzle over his questions. My own questions make the headache return, and I stop trying to figure Ian out.

"I think I should return now," I say quietly, just to fill the silence. Ian's head snaps out so fast, I hear a crack as his neck bows forward. He rubs it, while I grin and look away so I don't get caught.

"Actually," he says, sounding nervous, "Why don't you work in the field today? I have something I need to do, and I wanted somebody to do my section of the crops today so that Jeb doesn't get on me about slacking. Are you interested?"

"Yes," I say automatically, "Yes, that'd be great. But what will you be doing?" He squints, puckering his face in annoyance.

"A few people went on a raid," he says, "About a week ago. And now Jared, Kyle, Wanda and a few others are coming back." I nod, realizing now why Jared and Kyle hadn't bugged me in the past week.

"So, you're going to help them unpack?" I ask coyly, "Or is Wanda your girlfriend and you wanna suck faces with her?"

"Ha-ha, funny," He says, though it sounds more anxious than it's supposed to, "Just get your butt to the fields and tell Jeb that I sent you, got it?"

I nod again, and leave the room, trailing my fingers on the walls to I can remember where I am going. The fields are my favorite part of the day because nobody talks to me there. Everyone is too busy to talk to me or, at least talk about me. I blow a breath out, thanking Ian a thousand times as the fields come into view.

A few workers were already there, some lifting heavy shovels and planting seeds. Jeb was supervising, naturally, and seems surprised to see me there. He tips his hat as he walks toward me, one hand on the butt of his gun.

"Whatcha doin' here, 'Becca?" He asks gruffly, "Thought you were at school right 'bout now?"

"Ian sent me," I repeat dutifully, "He says he's got something to do with the people coming home and he wanted me to work on his plants so you didn't think he was…um, slacking and shoot him."

"Smartest thing that boy ever did," Jeb says with emotion and points me to a patch of greens a few yards away, "That section is for Ian to take care of but now it's yours for the day. Water them, weed them and keep them fertilized. If they all die today, it's not gonna be Ian's behind I'll be after, I'll tell you that."

I head towards the direction he points at, and realize that some of them are starting to wither out and die. Frowning, I bend to take care of them and get ready for a hard day at work.

.

.

.

The plants took every bit of energy I had to spare. Running water back and forth from the lunch room and to the fields took a lot out of me, and I collapsed in a heap after my fifth trip, prompting Jeb to give me a little five minute break, which turned into a fifteen minute knock out. Then, the plants that were starting to die out needed to be weeded and fertilized again and the dead leaves had to be plucked out so they didn't ruin the whole thing.

The heat in the room made things even harder than they were supposed to be. By midday, my shirt had been soaked through enough to make it look like I had jumped in a lake. Sweat plastered to my face and neck and arms, causing the shovel I was holding to slip from my grasps and fall onto my bare toes.

By the fifth time, Jeb walks toward me with a frown.

"I don't need you to chop off your own feet," He says, taking the shovel away from me, "Go, take a break and don't come back for the rest of the day. Besides, you missed lunch and you're almost missing dinner."

"Thanks, Jeb," I say awkwardly and scoot past him to go eat. As soon as I'm out of the fields, my sweat disappears, leaving me sticky and smelling like something my cat had thrown up. I sniff at my arms and nearly pass out.

The dim lights make it hard to focus as I pass by them to go to my room. It was so dark, I didn't see the shadow running towards me until he stood right in front of me.

"Who…," I crane my neck and stare, "Jaime, what are you doing here?" His face splits into a wide smile, so big I'm half afraid his face will split in half.

"Have you met her yet?" He asks, practically glowing, "My sister, I mean? No, you haven't met her yet but do you want to?" I start at his strange questions and his energy.

"I didn't realize you had a sister," I say, too well aware this is the first thing he's said to me in a week. Part of me is bitter and wants to ignore him the way he had me, but a bigger more pathetic part of me is glad for somebody besides Ian to talk to.

"You didn't ask," He says, grinning wider, "But, for the record, her name is Wanda, I mean, Melanie. Do you want to meet her, though, smelling like shit and all?' I glare t him for the comment, but it doesn't seem to faze him. I hesitate even more.

"Sure, all right?" I say grudgingly, "Where is she?" Before I can finish, he grabs my hand, engulfing my hand in his much bigger ones and drags me down a hallway. From deep inside, I can hear voices.

"Ian, guess who's with me?" Jaime calls even before we stop. The voices stop in one second and then somebody starts cussing.

"Jaime, get rid of her," Jared. Of course it's Jared. I slow down at his comment but Jaime tugs me forward.

"No, she should get to meet her," Jaime says, stubborn as always. I hear protests, this time two voices.

"No, I want to meet her," This time it's a female, soft and shadowy, "I've waited a long time to meet her. Come on, guys, you are overreacting."

From the shadows, a female steps out. The first thing I notice is that she's exceptionally pretty, with thick black hair cut short to her throat with the same large blue eyes that Jaime has. Her jaw was hard, but the cut of her cheekbones made it elegant, along with her long neck. And she was tall, taller than I was by at least three inches. When she saw me, her pink lips stretch up in a warm smile.

Before I can return it, I catch sight of something I hadn't noticed before. And when I see it, my welcome dries out in my throat and I start to shake with anger.

The silver filled blue eyes widen.

Before I realize it, I've lunged for her throat.

* * *

><p>AN: Wow, not what you expected, right? I apologize a million times for how late this chapter was, but I hope that it was enough for now for you guys. I love the comments, so keep them coming.


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